The Commons To Be Made Mini Maryland

  In the excitement of the UMBC 50 celebration (which is for some reason still making people hype) as well as the going of homecoming, the school wishes to pay an homage to its beloved state of Maryland by bringing all that the people of Maryland love into one place. While the official rename of the Commons is still up in the air, the most popular name is currently “Mini Maryland”. Some honorable mentions include the “Crab Palace”, “The Natty Boh Center: Fucking You Up Since Freshman Year”, and “Ye Olde Bae”. They are also adding a new corner to the building where you can buy all the Maryland gear you could ever dream of. It’s a one-stop shop spot for Maryland flag key holders, Maryland flag staples, and Maryland flag colored seasoning for your steamed–NOT BOILED–crabs.

  Geography major Mary Landen cannot contain her excitement: “I’ve been bleeding and breathing Maryland for all my life and now I get to study at a place that does the same for me! I’m gonna spend every single second I possibly can in this building.” The renamed building is also rumored to be include changes to some of the food eateries. One professor exclaimed, “it’s about time.” But after deliberation they decided that because of the new “Asian” place, they thought they’ve changed it up enough. To compensate, they got rid of the only place to conveniently order burgers and fries without Old Bay. But that isn’t the Maryland way. And UMBC stands for Maryland and supports her in all her thoughts and fuckups. You gotta let her know that you stand with Her.

-Your Aunt

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